For almost two decades Fiona Bowman has campaigned against domestic abuse. She was an early supporter of EIDA, and has acted as an Ambassador since its inception. Sadly, Fiona is now stepping down from her role with EIDA, but her experiences of domestic abuse, both personally and through her advocacy work, continue to offer significant lessons for employers. We are hugely grateful to Fiona for her support over the years.
Fiona Bowman did not set out to become a domestic abuse campaigner. In fact, earlier in her life she had chosen not to disclose the fact that she herself had been a victim of abuse. It was some years after she had fled her own violent marriage, and after she had built up a successful career, that she says she found her voice.
Fiona’s story demonstrates just how powerful a role employers can play in the wellbeing and safeguarding of their employees. She met her abuser when she was at college in 1974, training to be a nurse. They married in 1979, and she was with him until 1985. The relationship was extremely abusive, with escalating levels of violence. Working as a bank cashier at the time, Fiona kept covering up her injuries, moving to different branches and changing jobs so that no one would find out her secret.
“I had nowhere to go. I didn’t have any family support. My mother felt that marriage was for life,” she explains.
The violence continued to increase, and Fiona ended up admitted to the Royal Infirmary of Edinburgh with severe head injuries. “I had the keys to the bank vault in my handbag, and the hospital wouldn’t take responsibility for them, so they asked me to give them my manager’s number and he came. I didn’t want to see him, but they let him come in and see me and he was really shocked. When I came back to work, they offered me help. They got someone from HR in London to come and talk to me. She must have had some experience of working with domestic abuse because she said, ‘I know you’re not listening right now but when you’re ready we’ll get you help’.”
The bank, Standard Chartered, did exactly that. They gave her time off when she needed to see solicitors and landlords, and they offered her a chance to relocate to London and work in one of their branches there. “They covered my tracks. My husband kept looking for me, but they told him they didn’t know where I was. Only the senior managers knew where I was, and they said I had just resigned and left. I flew to London and started again with just the clothes on my back and a little holdall,” she says.
Fiona spent her first few weeks in a then Department of Social Security hostel in Elephant and Castle, until she found herself a bedsit in east London. She began her new life.
After several years in employment with Standard and Chartered, she became a facilities manager in the City of London, working as general manager of the Lloyd’s of London building and as property manager for Goldman Sachs, managing their Moscow, Paris, and Zurich offices, as well as their flagship Fleet Street portfolio. Fiona worked with several other institutions in senior facilities roles, travelling a great deal and overseeing large numbers of people. In all that time however, she had never mentioned her experience of being abused to anyone.
“I didn’t talk about it. I didn’t feel able to talk about it. I have been a successful businessperson, but I always felt that I would disadvantage myself if I did, that they would see me as weak and unable to take on those senior roles,” she explains.
Finding Her Voice
Over time, Fiona decided to write about her experiences, and contacted Refuge to see if they could help her find a publisher (her subsequent book is entitled Did I Wake You Pet?). Refuge asked Fiona if she would be interested in speaking about her experiences on Woman’s Hour, the BBC radio programme.
“That was really scary. It was a big moment for me,” she says. After appearing on the programme, Fiona went on to become an active campaigner against domestic abuse, engaging with a wide array of people, organisations and communities.
In addition to her work with EIDA, she is a member of the Met Police Victims Voice Forum, having been involved with the City of London Police and with Surrey Police in delivering a series of corporate employer domestic abuse conferences. She has also provided survivor input to officer training. Additionally, she is a White Ribbon Champion and a board trustee of Oasis Community Housing - a homelessness charity. She is the domestic abuse champion on the board.
Fiona also works as an independent corporate domestic abuse consultant, helping senior management teams in organisations develop strategies to support employees who are victims and survivors, and also for employees who are perpetrators. She has written numerous articles and been an expert commentator in both the media and at conferences, and has advised government bodies. She is a Freeman of the City of London and a Liveryman of the Worshipful Company of Security Professionals.
“Fiona has worked tirelessly as an EIDA Ambassador over many years, campaigning to raise awareness of domestic abuse amongst employers and to inspire them to take action to support their people who are impacted. With Sharon Livermore, she has led our group of volunteer Ambassadors and helped us to ensure that the voice and guidance of those who’ve experienced domestic abuse informs all that we do, Thank you, Fiona, for your positive impact on the lives of so many. We will miss your energy and your wisdom,” said Susan Bright, EIDA chief executive.
Broadening the Conversation
As she steps down from her EIDA role, Fiona believes the organisation will continue to make a meaningful difference. “I have been so proud to serve as an Ambassador. The people involved in EIDA are fantastic. It’s been great coming to events and meeting with the business community, which has such a vital role to play,” she says.
Over lockdown, Fiona presented more than 50 webinars to many companies and public sector organisations about how they could support their employees. Some things, she suggests, have got better over the years. During her own marriage, domestic abuse was simply not discussed, not in any forum. Now, much of the stigma has been removed. However, Fiona believes there is still a lot more to do.
“People have become much more informed, they are much more willing to talk about things. The problem is, the story has got stuck. We have to start thinking about how to address domestic abuse, giving younger people messages that they will understand and respond to. We have to think about the platforms they use and engage with them on those,” she says.
She also wants businesses to get out of their comfort zones. “Some businesses are still nervous about tackling domestic abuse. They see it as people’s private business and say they don’t want to be involved. I think some of the answer to the domestic abuse issue lies within the community. The whole community has a part to play, it’s not just a victim or their families. It’s about educating the community, getting them to support and engage with domestic abuse victims and perpetrators, and be open about the issue,” she says.
And businesses can provide a safe environment for victims of domestic abuse by putting policies and support systems in place which managers can signpost staff who need assistance to, she adds.
Fiona knows that over the years she has probably saved a number of lives and has changed outcomes for individuals, just by telling her story and showing people that domestic abuse can happen to anyone, whatever their background or social status.
